Not long ago, a woman named Regina sent us an email with a tense story that started with a simple family visit and a batch of freshly baked cookies. For months, she and her daughter-in-law Jess had a fight over what the kids ate. But something went wrong during this most recent meeting. At the end of the visit, Regina made a choice that could forever change how her family works together.

Regina told us her story.

“I’ve always loved baking.” Making the dough, smelling something sweet baking, and seeing people smile when they take their first bite all make me happy. People in my family have always loved my cookies the most.

But Jess, my daughter-in-law, doesn’t like them as much as other people do. I try to understand, but we’ve had some problems with my food.

“My daughter-in-law is crazy about health.” She is obsessed with organic living and won’t eat anything processed. She also gives everyone lectures about how important it is to live an organic life. She’s been this way since she had my grandchildren. Even though I try to respect it, it annoys me when she judges everything.

“We had a big fight about my cookies a few months ago.” She said I was giving my grandchildren “junk.” I calmly told them that my cookies were homemade and not some store-bought junk in a package. It got rough, so my son Michael had to step in. In the end, we came to an agreement that the kids could have one cookie when they came over. That was supposed to be the answer.

Michael and the grandchildren came over yesterday, and I baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies as I always do. As they cooled on the rack, the warm, buttery smell filled the kitchen. Later, my daughter-in-law came over and went straight to the kitchen.

After a while, I noticed that it was quiet. It’s too quiet. What I saw stopped me in my tracks when I got there. She was standing there, and all of my cookies had been thrown away in the trash.

“I was shocked. I couldn’t believe what I saw when I looked at the trash. I tried to keep my voice steady as I asked Jessica, “What did you just do?”
The girl didn’t even blink. She told him straight out, “I’m here to help you.” The kids shouldn’t eat those cookies. “That stuff isn’t needed by them.”

“I could feel my blood getting hot.” I snapped, “You have no right,” which was louder than I meant to say. “You have no right to come into my house and throw away food my family and I made!”
It made her face tighten up, and she crossed her arms to show that she was protecting the kids.

“Before I could answer, Michael rushed into the kitchen because he could feel the tension.” He put himself between us and said, “Mom, calm down.” “It’s not a big deal.” It’s only cookies.
I glared at Jess and said, “It’s not just cookies.” “She was rude to me in my own home!” “She’s so rude to throw away food I made!”

“Jess just stood there, like she hadn’t done anything wrong.” It made no sense to me. It was so rude of her, a high school graduate girl, to act like she knew more about my grandchildren than I did.
I looked straight at Jess and said, “I think it’s time for you to go.” “And until you learn how to be polite, you’re not welcome here.”

“Her eyes got big, but she didn’t say anything.” Then she turned around and left the room, leaving Michael behind. He looked back at me with a face that showed a mix of disappointment and confusion, but I didn’t change my mind. No more being rude in my own home for me.

“I stood there in the kitchen. The air still smelled like cookies, but they didn’t make me happy like they used to.” Jess did something wrong. We can’t go back until she learns to respect me.
I will not say sorry for standing up for myself.

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