When in-laws are involved, family relationships can get complicated. Disputes that happen because people own homes and have different ideas about what it means to own something are something we’ll talk about today. Sarah’s letter brought this issue to our attention and made us think about how to talk to each other, how important unity is in marriage, and how to set healthy boundaries.

“My husband and I have been married for 5 years.” We saved for years and finally bought our dream home two years ago. Beautiful four-bedroom house with a big yard. It’s perfect for the family we want to start soon.

Everything is wrong with my MIL. She’s always been too much, but lately things have been getting worse.

Like always, my MIL showed up at my house last week without warning and started talking about how she wants to redecorate her son’s house. When I told her it was our house, she just laughed it off. Then the big surprise came. “Sweetie, I’ve been thinking,” she said with a smile that was too sweet to bear. I think it’s time for you to give me the keys to this big, beautiful house that you and my only son now own.

It shocked me, but sadly, this wasn’t the only time it happened. It’s always the same story. “Oh, my son’s house looks lovely!” Or, “I’m so proud of the home my son has made.” She never gets the hint when I gently tell her she’s wrong. Even worse, she does it in public. As the mother of the homeowner, she finally lost it when she said, “You know, I think it’s only right that I have a set of keys.”

This happened at a big barbecue we were throwing for Jake’s whole family and a few close friends. After the meal, we were all sitting around talking when she suddenly cleared her throat loudly and told us what she was going to say.

As people turned to look, the talking stopped. Jake looked uncomfortable, but he didn’t shut it down right away. “Uh, why would you need keys, Mom?”

She laughed like it was clear. “This is my son’s house, right?” I should be able to go and come as I please. I also need to be able to check on things when you’re not home.

What I heard made no sense to me. Jake looked at me with worry in his eyes and said, “Maybe we should just give her a set to keep the peace.”

I lost it at that point. “Certainly not!” I yelled at her as I stood up. It’s not just your son’s house; it’s ours too. We bought it together, and we both pay an equal amount. We’re not giving you the keys so you can break in whenever you want!”

Diane got very angry, and her face turned red. “You jerk, don’t talk to me that way!” “Jake, are you going to let her talk to your mom this way?”

I was horrified when he tried to make his mother happy. “Calm down, mom.” We might be able to make it work…”

It made no sense to me. I was furious as I looked at Jake. “Are you sure you mean this?” To keep the peace, you want to give her the keys to our house?”

She opened up, and my MIL jumped on her. “See? She wants to get in the way of us, Jake! I only care about what’s best for you!”

She cried out loud, ran out of the yard, and slammed the gate behind her. There was an awkward silence in the group.

Then Jake and I got into a big fight. He said I was making a scene and making his mother look bad. I told him he had to get a backbone and refuse to do what she was asking.

Still, Jake wants me to give his mom a key “to make things right.” She acts like the victim and tells everyone how mean I am. Not all of my friends agree with me. Some think I was right to stand my ground, while others think I went too far by yelling at her in public.

Did I lose it too much when I yelled at my MIL in front of everyone and wouldn’t give her the keys to our house? Do you think I should have just done what Jake said to keep the peace?”

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