It’s encouraging to see women helping each other, whether it’s a friend helping another friend or a stranger helping someone she doesn’t know. This article is about a woman who left a letter for her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend in a sneaky way. In the letter, she told her what to expect and shared insights from her own life. When the new girlfriend posted this powerful example of solidarity on Reddit, she got a lot of positive feedback and messages of support from people online.

This is what she wrote:

We’ve been together for two years and have lived together for eight months. Our name is Steve and we’re 28 years old. As I cleaned our apartment, I came across a note written in pencil in the back of a cabinet.

“Dear Steve’s prospective partner,
He would never clean back here, so I know it’s you reading this. This is a warning about him since I’m leaving him soon:
1. He won’t clean. 2. He won’t listen. 3. He’ll make everything seem like your fault. It’s not your fault; he’s just a bad person. I’m going to leave him, and you should too.
Many thanks, Natalia'”

She also said:

“I read the note and gave it to him to see what he thought of it. Right away, he tore it up and told her she was crazy and not to be trusted on it. Since they broke up five years ago, the fact that he hasn’t found the note is a red flag for me because it means he hasn’t cleaned back there and has been cleaning less and less since I moved in.

He told me that his ex was still trying to play tricks on him and ruin his life, and I was letting it happen. We kept arguing about the same things, and I finally left to spend the night with a friend.

Steve is a great boyfriend so far. He gets along with my family. Every time he talks to me, he tells me how much he loves me. The cleaning hasn’t really been talked about before, which is true. But the note made me realize that it had been getting less and less, so we needed to have a full conversation about it.

She went on to explain:

His text message afterward said he was sorry I felt like I had to leave, but that it would be wrong for me to end our two-year relationship and leave him and our pets alone. Right now I have no idea what to believe or do. I might try to find Natalia and get in touch with her.

Steve believes that I should go back home and forget about it, because his past shouldn’t affect our future. I don’t know what to believe him when he says that his ex was selfish and manipulative while they were together.

We both cleaned when we moved in together eight months ago. What he does has been getting less and less since then. I used to not have to remind him to do things like put his plates in the sink or take out the trash, but now I do. If I don’t do the dishes, they will pile up, and he’s had food mold grow on the plates.”

She went on:

When it came up, I just asked him to fix it because I don’t like getting into fights. The note made me think about it more and try to have a real conversation about it. When I did, I didn’t feel like he listened to me.

He wouldn’t listen to what I think are valid concerns when I tried to use the note to start a conversation about cleaning. He was so focused on the fact that I was listening to his ex instead of him. He believes I’m letting the note have “confirmation bias,” which means I’ll always believe he’s wrong, no matter what he says.

I didn’t really leave him, though. Everything happened yesterday, and I only stayed with a friend for one night because I didn’t think our conversation was going anywhere last night, and he wouldn’t let me sleep until I did. You can give me advice and feedback before I go back today.

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