It can be hard to treat your stepchildren like they are your own. Since her son gets an allowance every week, Astrid thought she was being good by not giving her stepdaughter money. She wants to teach her stepdaughter a good lesson about being responsible, but she isn’t sure if she made the right choice now. Astrid decided to look for help on the internet to feel better.

“Hi,

Things have become a little more difficult since my husband’s teenage daughter from a previous marriage now lives with us. She asks me for pocket money and to buy her trendy clothes, makeup, gadgets, and even strange fruits because I make more money than her dad. Basically, she wants all the things her school friends have.

When she lived with her dad, she didn’t have many choices. But now that she lives with me in my big, beautiful house, she wants more things. I never give her money straight up. Instead, her dad and I make sure she has enough food and nice, modest clothes, but we don’t spend a lot of money on fancy things.

She thinks I’m unfair because I dole out money every week to my son from a previous marriage. She believes that I love him more than I love her. But to be honest, I have a reason. To begin, my parents were very strict with me. They had a lot of money, but they never gave me too much. It taught me to be responsible and able to do things on my own, and I want to teach my son and stepdaughter the same things.

Second, my son helps out around the house to earn his allowance. He helps out in the garden and does everyone’s laundry, among other things. He’ll have made a good amount of money by the end of the week, which is a lot for a teenager. I want my stepdaughter to understand the same thing. Not loving her or being fair is not the point. The point is to teach her important life skills that will help her in the long run.

Things are getting worse in our family these days. It’s making me very stressed out that she keeps accusing me of favoritism. My husband backs me up in refusing to give in to her, but he is also afraid that I may be too strict with her.

I have a lot of different ideas about how to handle this. I do not want my stepdaughter to feel unloved or left out, but I also do not want to give up my values.

I really don’t know how to deal with a teenage girl, and I feel like I could really use some help.

Sincerely,
Astrid”

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