My mother-in-law helped us buy a house, and Carla was thankful for that. But she never wanted to live with her. But she couldn’t say no right away when her husband told her that his mother was moving in. Instead, she told her mother-in-law the important rules she had to follow before she could move in with them. Carla didn’t think this would turn into a fight with her family, so she wrote to the internet for help.

“Hey,

I’m having a tough time with my mother-in-law, and I’m not sure if I did the right thing. His mother is lonely and has offered to watch our kids, so my husband wants her to move in with us. I couldn’t say no because she helped us buy our house. I told her, though, that she had to follow some rules no matter what if she moved in with us.

She needs to sell her car first. Our garage only has room for two cars, so we can’t add a third one.

Second, the smallest room in the house is the only one we have spare. Because both of our kids have their own rooms and need their own space, it’s the only thing that works.

The third thing I expect is for her to help clean. Cleaning is not my favorite thing to do, but I like cooking on my own.

I believed these conditions were fair and necessary to keep the peace in our home. But when I told her these conditions, she broke down in tears and said she felt insulted. My husband is now on her side, which has made things even worse.

I’m having a hard time figuring out what to do. I really appreciate the help she’s giving, but I also think it’s important to set clear limits so that everyone can feel safe. I don’t know what to do next because our home is so tense right now. Please help me figure out how to handle this and make everyone feel respected and important. Thanks for helping.

Sincerely, Clara”

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