One of the best things in life is becoming a parent, but family drama can take away from that happiness, as Harper’s recent letter makes very clear. Because her mother-in-law is so set on having a grandson, what started out as an excitedly anticipated baby shower turned into the most awkward event ever.
I (28F) am seven months along in my pregnancy with my first child, a girl. We’re so excited to have a child. My husband Jack and I are too. My mother-in-law Carol, on the other hand, is obsessed with wanting a grandson, which has made this pregnancy very stressful.
As soon as we told Carol we were expecting, she couldn’t stop saying that she “just knows” it’s a boy and can’t wait to spoil her grandson. There was a 20-week scan that told us the gender. Jack and I chose to tell our families about it ourselves.
We reluctantly agreed to go to my mother-in-law’s fancy baby shower because she was sure it was a boy. At first, things looked good on the day of the shower. until Carol spoke in the middle:
She began with, “I’m so excited for my son Jack and daughter-in-law to be becoming parents.” Her voice was already dripping with snobbery. “I just know this baby is going to be a strong, healthy boy to carry on our family name.”
She then went on and on about how great it would be to have a grandson and all the “manly” things she would teach him, like camping, sports, and so on. Jack tried to quietly tell her to stop, but she didn’t hear him. In the middle, she said that my child’s name would be William, after her father.
“In fact, I already know what a great name he will have: William, after my beloved dad.” For a boy, it’s a good, strong family name.
I felt embarrassed when I realized she thought it was a boy because of old wives’ tales. I looked at her and said, “It’s a girl.” Her face fell in shock.
“Are you telling me you’ve been lying the whole time?” After spending a lot of money on this fancy shower?” Carol yelled at me. “I can’t believe you tricked me into wasting all this money on a silly little girl baby!”
She bragged about how upset she was and said she would feel bad about being so dramatic if it weren’t for her grandson. People moved around us in an uncomfortable way, and I had to hold back tears.
I finally had enough. I yelled, “You’re an absolute monster!” as I grabbed my coat and stormed out the door, leaving Jack behind. Later, he called me to say I overreacted and that I should have ignored Carol’s crazy comments. Even worse, he said that his mom wants me to say sorry for making her feel bad and that they want me to pay for the whole shower because I “lied” to them about the gender!
What do you think? Was I wrong to leave my own baby shower because my MIL behaved badly? I’m still mad at her for being sexist and acting like she was entitled. I almost feel like I can never face his mother again now that Jack is on her side. Please tell me!
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