Managing relationships with in-laws can be hard because different generations have different ideas and ways of doing things, which can sometimes lead to arguments. Each family member brings their own values, beliefs, and life experiences to the table, which can lead to disagreements that affect how the family works. A senior gentleman recently got into a serious argument with his daughter-in-law, which made him write an online letter asking for help.

In his letter, he wrote:

It was the morning before Thanksgiving, and I was feeling the full weight of the fact that my wife Marta was no longer with me. It was especially sad because this would be the first Thanksgiving without her in 45 years.

In honor of my wife’s memory, my daughter-in-law Carla planned to make a few of the recipes she learned from her. Because it made me miss my late wife, I chose to give Carla her favorite apron as a gift.

I took out the apron with the faded flower pattern from Marta’s closet. I could remember having it for a long time, and every holiday had at least one picture of her in it. It was worn and had some food stains that I thought made it look more interesting. “Marta would have wanted you to have this,” I stated. “This was her favorite apron, and she wore it for every holiday that involved the kitchen.” Carla smiled at me and said thank you. After putting on the apron, she started getting ready.

It looked like everything was fine. It was like my wife had been with us the whole time we were eating. But that night, before bed, I went for my usual walk around the block and saw a familiar piece of floral fabric sticking out from the top of our trash can. The apron it was! My heart stopped. This apron, which was full of special memories of my wife, was thrown away like any other trash.

I got it back, but my hands were shaking with sadness and growing anger. What kind of fool would throw away something so valuable? Not only did it hurt my wife’s memory, but it also hurt the love and trust I had in her. I was shocked and angry. I made a plan because I wanted to teach her a lesson about respect and how important memories are. I told Carla to come with me when she woke up the next morning. She and my son had stayed at my house the night before.

She followed me up the stairs to the attic, but she didn’t know that I knew about the apron. I told them, “Come on.” “There’s something I want to show you.”

“Wow, I had no idea this house had an attic,” she said, taking a good look at the well-kept boxes.

I said in a harsher tone than I meant, “Since you didn’t find value in the apron, maybe you’ll find something here that you won’t just throw away.” She moved around clearly. I didn’t say anything while she tried to say sorry, but her words didn’t mean anything.

Since then, I feel like there is more space between us, and I’m still very hurt and disappointed. I haven’t told my son about this event because I don’t want to make things worse between them. Am I getting too emotional? That makes me feel betrayed. How can I get over it? Your help would be very helpful to me.

Sincerely,
Richard”

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