Keeping secrets from someone you care about can hurt them in the long run and usually results in a big breach of trust. On the other hand, partners can work things out and even strengthen their relationship with time and honest talk. A wife recently found out something shocking about her husband. She didn’t know what to do next, so she wrote a letter online asking for help and advice.

Hey

I (25F) got married to Steve (28M) last year. Before we got married, we had only known each other for six months. Of course, that wasn’t enough time to fully understand all of those aspects of each other’s personalities. Our relationship, on the other hand, seemed to go smoothly. I’m a straightforward and easygoing person, so I thought he was the same way. We were both financially stable and emotionally grown up, which made us feel ready to start the journey of marriage right away.

Then, the other night, while I was scrolling through my phone in bed, I heard my husband next to me say the name “Laura.”

Hearing my husband call me by the name of another woman was very upsetting. But the next morning, I didn’t want to talk about what happened because I was afraid that he would try to hide the truth by telling lies if I was right. I decided to find out more to calm my fears and make sure there was no reason to be suspicious.

I took advantage of the time he was taking a shower in the morning to look at his phone. I was shocked to find a long chat history with a person named “Laura.” What really shocked me, though, was seeing Laura’s picture—it was of a little girl.

After looking into it for a few weeks, I was able to get in touch with the girl’s mother through her social media account. After asking a few nice questions, I got a reply from the heart. That’s when I found out the truth: the girl in the picture was the daughter of my husband. It was Laura’s mother who took her away from Steve when she found out she was pregnant. Steve wasn’t ready to be a dad yet because he was still in medical school.

My mind was filled with a million questions about why he hadn’t told me about her before. I’m not sure if I should tell him right away about what I found, which would mean admitting to spying on his phone and looking into things without his knowledge, or if I should just wait and let him tell me when he’s ready. In this matter, I really need your advice and thoughts.

Sincerely,
Suzan”

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