We are all in charge of our own lives and the decisions we make, right? Still, as people, we naturally want to help friends who really need it. But what do you do when a friend you always look out for starts telling you about all their problems over and over again, with no end in sight? That’s exactly what this Reddit user is going through. She asked the huge online community for help because she wasn’t sure if she was dealing with her friend’s problem in the right way.

Here’s her story and what she’s going through:

I’m a 32-year-old woman with two kids (6M and 5F). My kids were born through a donor, so I chose to be a single mom.

I’m lucky to have a good job teaching French at a private school and a house that is paid off thanks to my parents’ life insurance and will.

I saved enough money for a year’s worth of living costs before I had either of my children. Then I took a break to get better after giving birth and spend time with my children. I still taught some kids for extra money while I was on sabbatical.

Two months ago, my friend (34F) had a baby. Her husband lost his job four years ago and hasn’t had a job since. She makes the money for the family.

It was great to be pregnant at the same time as a friend who just had a baby, but now things are going badly. She is jealous that I can take a year off from work, not have to worry about losing my house, and have a lot of money saved up. On the other hand, she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars saved up, let alone enough to cover her living costs for a year.

Because I know how stressed she is, I usually don’t respond to what she says or brush it off.

She started implying about ten days ago that she couldn’t afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their child was brushed off. Then she said how much free time I must have. I honestly brushed her off by telling her that I didn’t have any free time because I was a single mom to a baby and a small child.

She asked me to watch her kid while she works last night as a “favor.” When I said I couldn’t, I was firm but polite. I told them I couldn’t watch two babies younger than six months.

She almost begged for help, saying she couldn’t pay for daycare and that she would lose her job and have to move out if she didn’t go back to work. When I brought up her husband again, she said he wasn’t good with kids and couldn’t look after their child.

I kept telling her no, but she kept pushing until she called me heartless. I told her it wasn’t my problem that she chose to have a child with a useless man.

Now that she has blocked me, I feel awful about what I said and like a bad person.

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