When my DIL called me “mom,” I kicked her out.

A fun story was told by Margaret. She is 47 years old and has a son named Michael, who is 28 years old and married to Jenna. They’ve been married for three years and together for five years. She always thought they had a good relationship. An event at her house during a family dinner, however, made her think about things.

This was the second time Jenna had called her “Mom.”

At first, it looked like everything was going well on the day of the dinner. Michael and Jenna brought their two kids, who had a great time playing in the backyard. Jenna was cooking in the kitchen while Michael set the table. Margaret liked these events because they brought her family closer together and made her feel warm. There was something different about this evening, though, that made it dark.

Jenna asked her mom, “Mom, can you pass me the salt?” while she was setting the dishes. Jenna had called her “Mom” before, and even though it made her feel bad every time, she had never said anything about it. She tried to ignore her discomfort and carry on with the evening, but it kept coming back and made her feel bad.

She didn’t understand why calling her mom was a bad idea.

My daughter-in-law looked at me funny and said, “I thought it would bring us closer.” “You’re like a second mother to me.” While I understand that she meant well, something about it felt…off. She felt like she was taking on a role that wasn’t hers since I already have a daughter.

I told her I appreciated the thought, but I’d rather she called me by my name.

It was just Margaret, her husband, and herself cleaning up after dinner, after the kids were asleep. She decided she couldn’t take it any longer. Her question was whether they could talk. Jenna agreed, though she looked a little shocked. Then they sat down at the kitchen table.

Margaret told Jenna in a soft voice that being called “Mom” made her feel bad and that she’d rather be called by her name. Jenna, who looked confused and a little hurt, said she did it because she saw Margaret as a second mother and thought it would bring them closer. Margaret liked the thought, but she didn’t agree with calling the person “Mom” because she already had a daughter and thought it was too personal.

Why did she tell Jenna to leave?

Michael heard them talking while he washed the dishes and came over to see what was going on. Michael looked at his mom and said, “Mom, you know Jenna means well.” And Jenna did. “Why don’t you just let it go?”

It hurt Margaret to hear what he said. She thought her son would understand how she felt and be there for her. Instead, she felt like she was being watched in her own home. Margaret lost it when she felt her blood start to boil. Her reason for telling Jenna to leave was that she needed some space.

Michael tried to make her feel better, but she was too angry. After they left, Margaret was by herself and felt like the worst person in the world. She thought about what had happened as she sat in her now-quiet house. Of course she knew she had been too angry, but Jenna seemed to be trying to fill her shoes at that moment.

Could someone tell Margaret what to do if she is totally wrong?
After the event, Margaret thought about it over and over again all night. It made her think of how much she loved her son and how she had always tried to get along with Jenna. Now, though, she thought everything was in danger.

She wasn’t sure if she was thinking too much or if she had been too harsh. She had lots of questions and doubts, and she couldn’t get rid of the guilt she felt. She needed to vent and see what had happened from someone else’s point of view.

She hopes that telling our readers her story will help her figure out if she really did overreact or if her feelings were right.

Family unity is important for support and happiness, but our feelings can get the best of us and hurt the people we love without meaning to. To keep relationships strong and healthy, it’s important to find a balance and talk to each other honestly.

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