Cheating on your partner breaks the trust that is needed for emotional closeness and safety in a marriage. When you feel betrayed, it can leave you with deep emotional wounds that make you hurt and angry. This happened to Carla, who was heartbroken when she found out her husband had cheated on her by seeing a birthday cake that showed it in a very public way. To get help figuring out what to do next, she wrote a letter.

“Hey,

There are two teenagers between my husband Dave (50M) and me (45F). We’ve been married for 20 years.

I invited all of our friends and family to my husband’s 50th birthday party last night. The doorbell rang while I was setting the table for dinner. A man brought a big cake box with a “Happy Birthday ;)” sticker on it.

I hadn’t ordered anything, but I thought it was a gift from a guest who couldn’t make it because I was busy getting ready. I took the cake box to the middle of the dinner table and signed for the package.

When the cake was finally ready to be cut, I took the lid off the box and saw something shocking happen. There’s no birthday message on the cake! Instead, it had a picture of a WhatsApp conversation between my husband and someone named Cindy all over it. People in the room were shocked when they saw how personal the messages were.

My husband looked away from the cake and toward me as I yelled, “Dave, what is this?”

He stuttered, “It’s not what it looks like,” and looked around nervously as if he wanted to run away.

“Not what it looks like?” I yelled. “Dave, it looks like you’ve been cheating on me. “Who is Cindy?”

To get everyone’s attention off of the scandal that was happening, one of our friends quickly took the cake off the table, turned on some music, and told Dave to start opening his presents.
At home, Dave kept pleading and telling everyone that it had to have been a joke after the party was over. He said he didn’t have anyone named “Cindy” in his contacts and told me to check his phone to be sure, but I didn’t because I didn’t believe what he was saying. I quickly put my things away and ran to my parents’ house, where I stayed the night.

I am now thinking about what I should do next. Should I go back to his house and give him a chance to explain? How can I be sure that this wasn’t a joke? Who would want to play such a cruel joke on us? I no longer trust my husband. Is it even worth giving him a chance to explain himself? We really value your advice and different points of view.

Sincerely,
Carla”

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