For family harmony, it’s important to find a balance between keeping a good relationship with your in-laws and setting your own limits. A woman recently told how confused she was when she found out that her mother-in-law was making her baby very upset. She wrote an online letter asking for help with this tricky situation.

This is what she wrote:

“Hey,

I’m 29 years old and married to Steve, 34 years old. We have a cute little boy who joined our family about 9 months ago. I’ve always had a great relationship with Steve’s mom. I really love and cherish her because she’s so sweet and kind. But every time my mother-in-law comes to visit, my baby gets very upset. As soon as she walks in, my son starts crying, and it gets worse and worse until it’s impossible to control. Other people never have this happen to them. Since the day he was born, this line has not changed.

He’s usually a happy baby who doesn’t cry much and likes being held by visitors, who show their love with smiles. It’s not like that with my mother-in-law, though. So, to spare her feelings, I decided to try a series of sexual experiments on my MIL without her knowing.

My mother-in-law has very specific clothing tastes. She likes bright colors and lots of patterns. For her upcoming birthday, my husband and I suggested, in a subtle way, that we update her wardrobe. She loved the idea and was happy to adopt a more classic and understated style. Even though things had changed, our son’s reaction stayed the same: he still cried whenever she was around.

The next thing I thought was that her jewelry might be making the baby scared. I made up a reason that the baby might be allergic to metals and told everyone to stop wearing jewelry around him. She agreed completely and took off her jewelry when they came over, but it didn’t make a difference.

After that, her smell was all I could think about. There is a perfume that my mother-in-law always wears that I always enjoy. To see if this would work without making her feel bad, we asked my sister-in-law, who lives with her, to temporarily hide the perfume from her mom for a few days. To my surprise, I found out that my MIL was causing the baby’s reaction with her perfume!

After that, though, my husband told me that his mother has been using that scent since her own mother died because it makes her feel like she’s carrying a piece of her beloved mother with her. Because of this, she sprays it on every time she goes outside since her mother died.

Right now, my husband and I are having a hard time figuring out how to bring up the perfume that is so important to her. We want to be very careful about how we do this because we don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. But she comes to see us every day, and our baby seems to be very sensitive to the smell, so we’re thinking about what to do. If you have any tips on how to carefully deal with this situation, I would really appreciate them.

Sincerely,
Rose”

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