Trying to save a marriage after an affair is very hard, especially if there was a child involved. You have to make decisions that will affect the rest of your life. A Reddit user asked for help with her situation because she refused to have any contact with her husband’s child from his affair.

In 2021, after nine years of marriage, my husband and I found out that he was being sued for child support. This big secret came from an affair he had soon after we got married, which almost ended our relationship. But we chose to go to counseling and made plans for me to stay in the marriage.

As part of these terms, my husband agreed to get a second job to pay his child support without affecting our family budget. I also made it clear that I had no plans to have any kind of relationship with the child that came from his affair. Since a few years ago, my husband has been getting to know his child. But recently, he told me about some “baby mama drama.”

It turns out that the woman he was seeing is planning to turn herself in in May so she can spend eight months in jail. At this point, my husband felt he had to take custody of the child to keep them from going to live with their grandparents on the other coast. The child is attached to where they are now and doesn’t want to move schools or be far away from their friends, dad, and mom (who will be in jail nearby).

When I heard this news, I left the house and came back with an apartment guide for our area to show how I felt about it. When my husband asked if I was serious, I told him that my feelings had not changed since three years ago. Even though he said that the situation was unique, I told him again that I didn’t want to care for his child and offered a friendly divorce if he chose to take custody.

I was very clear about my choice and said I would not be responsible for someone else’s child.

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