Dealing with the difficulties of being a parent often means facing problems you didn’t expect. As a parent, seeing your 19-year-old daughter start dating someone much older than her can make you feel worried and uncertain. Today’s story is about a mother who is in the same situation and wants some advice.

She told them what was going on.
For comparison, the boyfriend of my daughter is 42 years old, while my husband and I are 47 and 46 years old. They met not long before she turned 19 and have been dating for over 6 months. We were pretty sure she was seeing someone, but she’s always been very private about her relationships, so we let her be.

What we know is that she was with 4 guys her age, but she never snuck out or lied about where she was going, so we’re sure there were more. He’s not the first older man she’s dated, but she did say she was 18 or older for all of them.

There are a lot of things that make my husband and I feel bad, and we don’t know what to do next. We want to talk to her again, and we need to choose if we want to meet him or not. Even though she lives at home and is a junior in college, we know she is an adult. We only want her to be safe.

What she said about him (we don’t know if she’s telling the truth or not):

– He is divorced and doesn’t have any kids.
– They met on the web.
– He truly “isn’t a bum.” It looks like he does pretty well for himself as a business owner. We only got her first name, so I can’t say for sure what she said.
– He has never been in trouble with the law.
– He doesn’t want to get married or have kids.

I can’t say the same thing about him, and we haven’t even met. She’s never felt creeped out or uncomfortable around him. She says he treats her well and is polite.

We’re not sure if we want to meet him. There are times when it would be good to get to know him better and see what you think. However, it would be very awkward and uncomfortable for all of us. While they don’t want to move in together or get married, they have no plans to take their relationship further. However, if they stay together for at least one more year, it might happen at her graduation.

We don’t know what to ask or do next. Or if we should just let it go and make sure she has a safe place to go if she needs it. Please let her come to us. We’d like to hear your thoughts, experiences, and more questions.

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