Instead of me, my only daughter chose her stepdad to walk her down the aisle.

We have to be committed to our kids and make sacrifices for their health and happiness in order to be good parents. We will sometimes disagree with our kids’ choices as they get older, though. This can sometimes make us feel like they don’t value all the work we’ve done for them. Recent events made a dad feel disrespected when his only daughter refused to let him walk her down the aisle at her wedding. He felt shocked and defeated, but he had to say something.

What he wrote was

“My ex-wife left my daughter when she was seven years old and came back when she was fifteen, saying she wanted to be with someone.” My daughter said she got really close to her new stepdad after giving it a try. It looks like he’s a really cool guy who likes the same things she does, like hockey, and plays the guitar like my daughter. I thought it was great at first that she was getting close to her stepdad and mom…

My only daughter is getting married soon to the man she’s been dating for four years (30M). My mom and I both helped pay for the wedding, which cost more than $25,000 total. She told me that her new stepdad would walk her down the aisle because they have “really bonded over the past few years.” The day was getting closer. I was shocked, but I didn’t do anything.

Furthermore,

“But I do envision something.” As long as people treat me badly like this, I won’t be there on the big day. She can be happy with her mom, who left her for eight years, if she wants to, but she shouldn’t count on me.

They weren’t the ones who went to all of her hockey games. They didn’t pay for her test prep tutoring. Their hard work working three jobs until she was 17 to support both of us wasn’t their fault… And they weren’t here when she reached her goals. I was the one!

I am not going to tell my daughter that I will not be at her wedding. I am not going to show up any longer!”

Others on Reddit gave their opinions, with some supporting his choice and others criticizing him for not talking to his daughter about it first.

– As someone who went through the same thing as you, I can’t even imagine. Since my biological parents aren’t able to care for me, my grandparents basically adopted me. I still talk to all of them, but when the time comes, my grandpa will be the one to walk me down the aisle.
I won’t give credit to my sperm or egg donors for what my grandparents did, and they know that I think of them as my real parents. When I was 18, my mom moved back into the state and tried to be a parent after being away for 15 years… I could never leave my grandmother and forget all the good things she’s done for me! This is artificialif on Reddit.

– It’s clear that you’ve been there for your daughter by always putting her first and supporting her with your time and money, but I have to ask: have you also been emotionally available? Holding deep conversations with her is important. Do you let her in and listen to her?
Don’t do it yet? If not, you might want to start now. Even though I don’t know much about your relationship with your daughter, the fact that you don’t want to have this conversation (and would rather just not show up and not tell her) worries me, which is why I think this might be good advice. Credit: incognickto on Reddit

– You should talk to your daughter! Discuss your feelings with her and inquire as to why she picked him over you. She may not understand how important this is to you. Not showing up doesn’t make you better or right; you just need to tell her why. That is something I hope you know.
Do not judge her right away; instead, talk to her. I know you’re mad that your daughter didn’t even tell you why she wants her stepdad to walk her down the aisle, but you should still talk to her because you’re her dad. This is No-Entertainment-728 on Reddit.

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