Sean, a man who is 36 years old, sent us a very tough letter. He told his story, about how cheating on his wife turned into the start of a big deal with a surprise ending. When the man told his wife about his affair with his client, she was shocked. Any response would have been fine with him, but the one his wife gave him was unexpected. Now that things have gone badly for him, the man is desperate and wants our readers’ help to figure out what to do with his family.

Sean had an affair for a short time and then told his wife about it.

We just got a letter from Sean, 36, in which he told us about his very difficult family situation. Lots of people were going to judge the man, but he still wants to hear what other people think and get advice from people who will not ignore his problem.

“My wife Rosa and I have been happily married for 15 years now,” the man began his letter. There have been many times in our lives when we’ve had to work things out together. We’ve been more than just husband and wife for so long; we’re like-minded people, and our marriage is based on trust and understanding. We would never cheat on each other or lie to each other. Things changed for the worse not long ago, and now our family is falling apart faster than light.

“I know I did something really bad and disgusting. I cheated on my wife with a client of mine,” Sean said. My body felt like it was on autopilot, and I don’t know why I did all of that. After a while, I couldn’t take the guilt any longer. I cut off my affair partner right away. Along with ending our business as clients, I gave her contract to a coworker. After that, I haven’t talked to her again. I also told my wife about this, and I’ve been going to therapy by myself ever since.

Sean thought his wife would react very emotionally, and he was partly ready for it.

Sean told her, “At first, my wife got very angry and upset; she was depressed.” I was really worried about how she was feeling. I thought there would be a lot of trouble, but she’s never looked so sad before. I begged her not to split up with me.
I suggested that she go to therapy, counseling, or even be with other men, but she wasn’t interested. I told her to be alone and give her more time to deal with her pain on her own. She told me I had to leave until she called me with her ideas about how we could live together in the future.

The man didn’t say anything against what his wife wanted. Sean wrote, “I packed up my things and moved in with my parents.” I called her every day, and she always sounded broken and angry. I could tell from the sound of her voice that she was deeply hurt, and I understood. But she wouldn’t let me help her. All she kept saying was that she needed more space, which I gave her.

Sean’s wife’s behavior changed all of a sudden.

In his letter, Sean said, “My wife started acting very strangely three weeks after I told her I had been cheating on her.” She called me and told me to move back into our house with my things. I gladly did so. She told me she wanted to try to work things out with us, and she jumped right in, being the best wife a man could ask for.

Sean said, “She made my favorite meals, wrote me sweet notes, and bought new clothes to make herself look even more attractive to me.” At best, her responses were cool. She smiled, thanked me, and told me over and over that she loved me very much. We didn’t talk about what had happened between us until she did, and I didn’t bring it up either. I was shocked by this change, but I thought she was just being a strong, sensible woman. I thought she chose not to let a short-term affair ruin our marriage.

The man wrote, “My wife’s behavior didn’t bother me at all, but there was one thing I didn’t get, and she would never explain it to me.” I learned that she started going to a gynecologist too often, like that wasn’t a regular checkup or something. Really, she saw the doctor almost every week, and these visits began soon after I told her I had cheated on her.

Sean was worried about his wife’s health, so he told her off for going to the doctor so often.

“I was thinking of some serious health problems that my wife might have had, and these visits kept me up at night,” Sean wrote. She did have some problems with her reproductive system, which is why we didn’t have any children. I thought that.

“When I finally asked my wife about her health and her trips to the gynecologist, she smiled and told me she didn’t have any health problems at all,” the man said. She also said she was going to the doctor because she decided to become pregnant. I was shocked at first, but then I was so happy that we were going to have a baby.
I was shocked when my spouse told me something. She told me that this baby wasn’t hers. She said that she had been seeing another man, just like I did with another woman, and that he made her pregnant. At that moment, I could feel like everything in my life was turning upside down.

“Everything that happened in our family was fair, and my wife said that each of us got what we deserved,” Sean wrote. She suggested that we stay together and that I could adopt the baby if I wanted to. She told me that she had lost touch with the baby’s biological father and that he would not have been happy if he knew she was pregnant.

This has broken the man completely, and he has a lot of thoughts and feelings about it. In his letter, he said, “I have a gut feeling that the baby is mine and that my wife has never been angry with me.” I think what she said was an act of revenge; she wanted me to feel the same pain she was feeling after I told her the painful truth. What if she wasn’t lying, though? What if the baby isn’t mine? In this case, what should I do? “I’m split.”

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