That woman, who is 47 years old, just sent us a letter about her difficult family situation. Because of how she treats her daughters, the woman is very worried about how her husband will react badly. The issue is that she does not make her grown daughters pay rent while they reside at their parents’ home. But her husband has a tough thing to say about the whole thing, and it really bothers her.

The woman has her own ideas about where her daughters should live.

Stella, who is 47 years old, told us her story and asked what our readers thought. The woman really believes she is doing a great job, but her husband doesn’t agree with what she does or believes, and this is making their family life more and more bad.

In the first line of her letter, Stella said, “My two daughters are 20 and 21 years old.” They both still live with us at home. Both of them work part-time jobs and pay for their own college. Both of my girls go to school all the time. My opinion about them living in our house has never changed, and it never will.
If they are in school, I’ve always told them they could live with me and not have to worry about rent. My daughters don’t live with us just to live; they help us out a lot and share the daily tasks and responsibilities with us. Their younger half-siblings depend on them a lot. They pick them up from daycare or school, take them to appointments when I have to work, babysit them, etc. As of right now, I’m very happy with how things are going in our family. But my husband makes our everyday life more interesting.

The woman’s husband doesn’t agree with this family arrangement and doesn’t hold back.

“My husband has always been friendly with both of my daughters,” Stella says next. His treatment of them was equal, like his own children, but he also insisted that they should be more independent. Their relationship has never been very close.

His thoughts are honest; they should help out more and pay their rent. He goes so far as to say they are using me. I don’t agree.
Our different points of view have already led to so many misunderstandings in our family that I feel uneasy every time I walk into our home. Things are getting really tense, and I think I won’t be able to handle all of stress for much longer.

Stella’s husband is being very mean now.

Stella continues her story by saying, “My husband started preaching to my daughters. He once said that they were like parasites living on a tree and taking its life force without giving anything in return.” They both found this offensive, but they didn’t make a big deal out of it. I can tell they’re becoming less and less open to dealing with him now.

“He decided not long ago that he wasn’t going to help pay for the house anymore because of one thing.” He keeps saying, “This is my house and my bills.” I owned the house before we got married. He also said that he rents out his room because no one else does.
He seems to believe that since they can spend their money however they want, he too should. He takes care of the outside of the house, and we’re currently making changes to the inside, which he does all by himself, so I’ll let it go for now.

Now Stella is at a crossroads and doesn’t know what to do.

The woman said, “I’ve always thought that my marriage to my husband was mature and smart.” We did treat each other with respect, and we never let family scandals happen. Now, though, things have changed so drastically, and it drives me crazy that no one in the family has any choice. Nothing to give in on, nothing. He’s giving the family ultimatums, which I think is completely wrong.

“Should I get a divorce, or is there another way to make things better in the family?”

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