My husband and I cut his mother out of our lives after she called our son with autism ‘a mentally challenged waste of time’ and for telling my husband ‘leave your wife and start new, that kid’s only going to drag you down.’ After four years, we decided to give her another chance. We told her multiple times our son didn’t like being pet or her touching him a certain way but she had yet to respect him. She would say, ‘A swift smack on the bottom will cure that.’

Here’s the real kicker. We have cameras in our house as our son tries to get out a lot. In a video, she gave my husband 100 dollars. I didn’t think much of it. It’s not like we needed money help, but whatever floats her boat.

The problem was when she said, ‘I’m giving this to you and you keep it. You don’t have to tell her (meaning me) about it.’

‘We don’t have secrets,’ my husband replied.

She said, ‘Well, that’s okay. But if you don’t tell her, let me know so I know what to say if she asks.’

I found that really weird and disrespectful. I sat my husband down and said it was clear our attempt to mend the relationship wasn’t going well. I felt we should just cut our losses.

When we asked our son, he said, ‘I don’t want her to visit’ and ‘She makes me sad.’

We both decided to go full no contact again. I’m not upset about it and my husband is not upset about it. However, he does make weird comments sometimes like ‘Maybe more time would have worked’ or ‘That’s how she’s always been.’

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