Margaret was worried that her daughter-in-law was cutting back on the kids’ showers to save money on water bills. Margaret was a caring grandmother. She agreed to babysit the kids when her daughter-in-law asked her to. She had no idea that giving her grandchildren a bath would go wrong and cause problems in the family. Margaret looked for advice online because she didn’t know what to do next.

“Hey,

My daughter-in-law and I are having a bad time, and I’m not sure if I did the right thing. I love my family very much, especially my grandchildren. But my daughter-in-law and I are getting more and more angry over how often the kids should be bathed.

My DIL doesn’t think it’s necessary to bathe the kids every day. Is giving them a shower twice a week enough? She says not as long as they don’t “stink.” She keeps telling them that this routine is better for their skin because it keeps it from drying out and saves money on their water bills. I see her point of view, but I grew up in a time when kids had to take baths every day, especially little ones who get into everything.

Not long ago, she left the kids with me to be babysat. The youngest was scratching his neck a lot, which caught my eye. I didn’t want to go too far, but I also couldn’t stand to see my grandchild acting that way. I thought it would be best to give them a real bath. They liked it, and it made me feel better to know they were clean and comfortable.

When my daughter-in-law came to pick up the kids, I was hesitant to tell her about my worries about how they were bathing. It’s too bad she didn’t take it well. Her defenses went up and she got angry. She told me it was her choice how to raise her kids. Then she left quickly, taking the kids with her. She hasn’t called or talked to me since then, and I feel like my heart is heavy.

I feel bad that I shouldn’t have said anything and respected her choices, even if I didn’t agree with them. I’m worried about how this will affect our relationship and my chance to see my grandchildren.

I have a lot of mixed feelings and don’t know what to do next. Did I go too far? I think I could really use some help.

Sincerely,
Margaret”

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