When trust is broken in a marriage, it can cause a lot of emotional and mental problems, like pain, doubt, and a lack of direction. Recently, a man was shocked when his wife told him she was pregnant, even though he had had a vasectomy done behind her back. He turned to the internet for help and support because he was feeling uncertain.

“Hey,

My wife (28F) and I (30M) have been married for three years and get along well most of the time. We agreed not to have children before we got married. She changed her mind after our wedding, though, and insisted on having a child. Even though I reminded her of what we agreed to, she kept insisting. I was still very sure that I didn’t want any kids. So, last year I had a vasectomy in secret to avoid any drama. I didn’t tell her because I thought it was okay since she had already broken our agreement.

A few months after I had my vasectomy, she told me with pride that she was pregnant. I was shocked and accused her of cheating, but I still didn’t tell her about my vasectomy. She believed my claims were not true and believed I was crazy since I was against having children. I made her agree to a DNA test while she was pregnant, so she didn’t have a choice. Hearing the news that the baby was mine was a big surprise. It meant that my vasectomy might not have worked after all.

I told her I was sorry for accusing her of cheating many times, but she still wouldn’t say she had a vasectomy. She is now very distant and thinking about getting a divorce because she thinks I was more interested in cheating on her than in the pregnancy. I’m not sure if I should tell her that I had a vasectomy without telling her to explain why I thought she cheated on me. Would telling everyone about this now make things worse?

As we prepare to have a child, what steps should we take to deal with this? Please tell me how to best fix things because I’m completely lost.

Sincerely,
Richard”

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