Life goes on, and you will see your parents get old and unable to take care of themselves. The roles have switched, and the care they used to give you is now your job. But when this duty falls on a spouse instead of their children, it can make things more difficult.

On Reddit, this woman told her story and asked for help.

There was a time when my 16-year-old husband asked me to take care of his mother. I told him no. When my husband asked why not, I told him the truth. Never got along; she’s always been mean to me without meaning to. Many moms do it when they feel like no one is good enough for their child, that’s what I’ve been told. The best thing we can do for each other is be polite.

My husband was even brave enough to say that he helped me when I was taking care of my sick dad. When he offered to help, I told him that things were different because I had already asked for help from other family members. I will be responsible for most things since he works long hours—sometimes 12 to 18 hours a day. He is an only child and doesn’t have any siblings. He worked 84 hours last week alone.

“I told him that I knew it might seem unfair, but things were different for me because I had help taking care of my dad.” There will be almost no help for me. Oh, he did offer to pay more, but that will just cost us more money. Our goal right now is to save money for a house, and I’m not working because I’m in school finishing up my degree. Taking a break from teaching to take care of my dad. I didn’t want to go back to teaching after he died. Right now I’m in the third year of my engineering degree. I also don’t want to put that on hold to take care of his mother.

My husband just left after I told him everything, and he hasn’t called me back yet. I talked to my mom, and she was pretty helpful. She thought it was silly that I went to school at all. It made me wonder if I was wrong to not want to put my own plans and goals on hold again for a sick parent.

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