A lot of the time, people we care about want to give a short speech at our wedding. Most of the time, these speeches are given with good intentions. However, people can sometimes turn things around and make the event about them instead.

He wrote about his life on the web.

“My fiancée and I, who are both in our 20s, are getting married in a month. Right now I’m having a fight with my dad because he says I’m being unfair, but I wanted to know what you thought about it.” Dad decided he wouldn’t say anything before giving a speech at the wedding. His sister, my aunt, had heard what was in that speech, and she knew it wouldn’t go over well with me, so she told me about his plan.

He talks a lot about how his wife is the love of his life, how great she is, etc. in this speech he already wrote. It sounds a lot like the speech he gave when they renewed their vows 10 years ago. He hasn’t been afraid to tell me and everyone else that he loved his wife more than anyone else and that all of his other relationships were nothing compared to her. So does my mom, who was his first wife and left him with an 8-year-old son when they split up.

To build up the noise even more. It was my 18th birthday, and I got to hear my dad talk about how his second wife was so much better than his first wife, which made my birthday even better. Eight years had passed since they got married. A lot of family and friends didn’t make it to their first wedding, so they planned a second one to celebrate. They chose my birthday as the perfect time to do this.

Anyway, a lot of what he said in the speech he wrote for my wedding came from what my aunt heard my dad say and read herself. He told her how much he loves his wife in a way that made it sound like he didn’t care about my mom on my wedding day. That was the last thing I needed to hear.

I told him I knew about the speech and that he wasn’t allowed to give it at my wedding. Why not? My dad asked. I told him I didn’t want him to use my wedding to talk about how great his wife is. He told me that she’s very important to us, so why would I say that? I told him how much she meant to me. But she isn’t even close to my mom, who was and still is my everything. I told him that just because he thought Mom didn’t matter, that didn’t mean I agreed with him. He first said I was too sensitive and then said it looked like I didn’t care about his wife at all. He then said she was a good mom to me for eight years. I told him she would always be his wife.

“I didn’t get a new mom after my mom died when I was eight.” I don’t want to hear that she wasn’t important on my wedding day. Mom and dad told me to be calm, and the parents of the bride and groom usually say something. I told him that what he had to say didn’t belong at my wedding. He should know that this is my wedding, not his. Should he only want to praise his wife, I told him to get married again. I didn’t see it happen at mine, though.

I should stop being a kid and grow up, he told me. Leaved. After that, his wife called and cried about the fight my dad and I had. So my dad called me again and told me to grow up.

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