Margaret was in a tough spot because she was a retired grandmother. Margaret was kind enough to offer to watch her two grandchildren while her daughter-in-law went back to work. What started out as occasional help turned into overnight stays on the weekends, which made Margaret very tired. When her attempt to set clear limits didn’t work, she went online to get help.

“Hey,

I’m an old woman who lives on her pension. When Kate, my son-in-law’s wife, went back to work, she asked me to watch her two kids, a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old. I love my grandchildren very much, but it’s getting too much. Her excuse for coming over on the weekends was that she needed a break from work. She would leave the kids with me.

After giving it a lot of thought, I chose to teach her a lesson last weekend. After taking a deep breath, I told her that even though I loved spending time with my grandchildren, it was getting too much for me to handle without getting anything in return. I told them that I was retired and living on a fixed pension, so babysitting full-time would be too much for me to handle without getting paid.

I was shocked that she didn’t argue or even answer. She didn’t say anything; she just looked at me for a moment, then quickly grabbed the kids and left. My son called me that night in the evening. He looked angry and told her, “Look, just say no to spending time with your grandchildren if you don’t want to.” Kate was really upset about what you did. She’s mad and told you she doesn’t want our kids to stay with you anymore.

I don’t know what to do now. I feel bad about what I did and am not sure if I handled the situation correctly. I need to take care of myself too, even though I want to be with my family. I’m also worried that my daughter-in-law will not let me see the kids. What should I say to my son and daughter-in-law about this?

Sincerely, Margaret”

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