A woman who ended her marriage while her husband was sick with cancer wrote us a letter without giving her name. She wants to share her hard story with people who are going through the same thing so they don’t make the same mistakes.

When she heard her husband’s terrible diagnosis, it broke up their happy 10-year marriage.

“For 10 years, my husband and I were married and had a wonderful, happy life together.” We went to more than 40 countries, did extreme sports, and made good money in our careers. When my husband was told he had cancer, everything changed. I was so shocked that I thought my whole world had fallen apart.

„It took me a few months to accept the diagnosis and get used to our new way of life. I finally got myself together, though, and decided that we would face this challenge together.

The woman was in charge of everything, from running the household to making sure her husband got the right care.

“I quit my job and became fully responsible for our family lives and my husband’s treatment.” I made sure he went to the doctor on time and worked hard to find new doctors and other treatment options. I was in charge of making appointments, managing medications, keeping medical records up to date, and researching new therapies. Every day, I worked hard to make sure he got the best care possible while also keeping things somewhat normal at home.

Her husband felt sorry for himself.
“Going to the doctor all the time and getting bad news turned my life into a living hell.” While my husband felt sorry for himself, I tried to stay positive and keep our spirits up. The last straw was when he said he didn’t want to go through chemotherapy because it was too painful and wouldn’t guarantee a cure.
It looked like he had stopped seeing me all together. He could only think about how much pain and suffering he was in. He didn’t see how hard I was trying or acknowledge that I was also having a hard time and hurting. Because I gave up everything to be there for him on this journey, his choice hurt me.

“I begged and pleaded with him, telling him that it was the only way for him to stay alive.” But he was adamant, and he chose to look for other treatments that didn’t have much scientific evidence that they worked.
Our relationship got worse as his health got worse. While I watched him give up on his illness without a fight, anger built up inside me. I felt lied to and abandoned, like I was left to deal with his illness by myself.

It was her choice to leave her husband.
“Even though I was upset and angry, I just couldn’t leave him.” I promised to be there for him in good times and bad, and I was going to keep my word. Though, as the days turned into weeks and weeks into months, I began to doubt everything.

“One terrible night, I lost it as I sat next to his bed and watched him sleep fitfully. Taking care of him and feeling the weight of his illness on me were both too much for me to handle. That’s when I knew I had to make a decision for my own health and sanity. I had to make the hardest choice of my life tonight.

The choice she made hurt her deeply.

“This choice left a deep mark on my soul.” It made our friends and family who are related to each other feel bad. A lot of people didn’t get me and thought I had betrayed my husband.
It took me a few years of therapy to understand that I wasn’t a bad person and that I had put myself first in this situation. My husband made a choice, and I did too.

“I hope that sharing my story will help people who are going through the same thing.” It’s very important for both the person who needs help and their family to see a psychologist. We might have had a different ending if we had just gone to see a couple’s therapist.

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