Family events are meant to bring people together and strengthen ties. However, they can be hard to use in mixed-race families. Kirsten asked her ex-husband not to bring his wife to her son’s graduation because their relationship was bad. Unfortunately, things got worse than expected, and Kirsten came to us for help.

This is Kirsten’s letter:

“My ex-husband has been married again for eight years, but I’ve never liked his rude and condescending new wife.” For our 18-year-old son’s graduation, I told him not to bring her because she wasn’t needed on MY child’s big day.

It felt good that he agreed. But when the event was over, my son and his dad turned around and went back to their car. I told them I was having a small party at my house because I was confused. Then my ex-spouse told me that they were going to his house because his wife was having a big party to make up for not being at the graduation.

Then my son said out of the blue, “You will never be able to get over the fact that Dad left you for her, Mom, and that is sad.” He said, “You’re my mom, but she’s also been my stepmom since I was 10.”

I was crying by myself in the parking lot. Was it wrong for me to want to enjoy my son’s graduation party without his stepmom ruining it?

Sincerely,
Kirsten”