My husband and I are both 37 years old, and we have four kids younger than six. Both of us work full-time jobs. I run a small activewear store out of my home. He got a bonus not long ago and decided to take a 10-day trip to Bali by himself. Okay, no big deal. What’s wrong? At that time, I was responsible for all four of our children by myself.

He told me he would give me a break when he got back, but things changed. He yelled, “For once, can you get up and help me with the kids?” to get me to help him with the kids in front of his family.

It’s worth mentioning that he did agree to watch the kids on Saturday afternoon. But on the same day, his cousin invited us to a costume party. I thought it would be a great chance to relax since his girlfriend is one of my best friends. My husband told me he would take care of the kids and even watch them while I took a break.

Now the time has come.

The kids were a real pain on the day of the party—they cried, screamed, and fought all the time, and they wouldn’t listen to anyone who tried to discipline them. I chose to chill out by the pool, enjoying the music and the sun since it was my day off. Despite his many requests for my help, I reminded him that he agreed to watch the kids and emphasized that this was my well-deserved time off.

It took him an hour of crazy scenes before he finally lost it and yelled at me to get up and help with the kids. Everyone around him paid attention to his outburst, and I even heard my mother-in-law say, “What a terrible mother.”

I got mad. I told him that the kids would be with me for 10 days while he was in Bali. He argued back, and the argument got loud. Someone heard and started calling me a lazy mom, which makes it sound like I use him.

In the middle of having too many feelings, I finally broke down. Tears came to my eyes as I vented my anger. Took a short break, told them I would be right back, and then drove off. After a few hours, I went back to get my partner and the kids. A lot of people were quiet in the car on the way home.

Later that night, my partner tried to tell me that the kids were having a rough day and that he just needed some time to himself. I argued back because I thought the situation wasn’t fair, especially since I had been taking care of the kids by myself for two weeks. Even worse was the fact that he hadn’t defended me right away when people were mean to me.
Did it fall on my shoulders? Should I have helped him with the kids?

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