Couples who keep secrets from each other can hurt their relationship for a long time, and it usually ends with a permanent breach of trust. But sometimes, patience and good communication can help things get better, which can strengthen the relationship between partners in the long run. A woman recently had to deal with a shocking fact about her husband. Because she wasn’t sure if she should talk to him or not, she went online and wrote a letter to get advice.
“Hi,
I (25F) got married to Steve (28M) last year. Before we got married, we had only known each other for six months. Of course, that wasn’t enough time to fully understand all of those aspects of each other’s personalities. Our relationship, on the other hand, seemed to go smoothly. I’m a straightforward and easygoing person, so I thought he was the same way. We were both financially stable and emotionally grown up, which made us feel ready to start the journey of marriage right away.
As I scrolled through my phone one night in bed, I saw that my husband had fallen asleep next to me. After about an hour, he woke up and started softly stroking my hair. But my happiness turned to confusion when he said the name of another woman, Sophia. “Huh?” was the first thing that came to my mind. But his answer made no sense, which showed he was half asleep.
Hearing my husband call me names of other women was weird, especially while I was lying in bed. But the next morning, I didn’t want to talk about what happened because I was afraid that he would try to hide the truth by telling lies if I was right. I decided to find out more to calm my fears and make sure there was no reason to be suspicious.
I took advantage of the time he was in the shower to look at his phone. I was shocked to see that he was sending a lot of messages to a person named “Sophia.” What really caught me off guard, though, was seeing Sophia’s picture—it was of a little girl.
After looking into it for a few weeks, I was able to get in touch with the girl’s mother through her social media account. After asking a few nice questions, I got a reply from the heart. That’s when I found out the truth: the girl in the picture was the daughter of my husband. Sophia’s mother, Steve’s ex-girlfriend, took her away when she found out she was pregnant. Steve wasn’t ready to be a dad yet because he was still in medical school.
My mind was filled with a million questions about why he hadn’t told me about her before. I’m not sure if I should tell him right away about what I found, which would mean admitting to spying on his phone and looking into things without his knowledge, or if I should just wait and let him tell me when he’s ready. In this matter, I really need your advice and thoughts.
Sincerely,
Suzan”
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